Okay One More Thing

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This more thing. (via)

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In The Army

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Alright now I am really for real gone for the weekend. Y'all have a happy Memorial Day - don't forget to give pleasure to a service member (member), for patriotism's sake! I'll see you in a week!

Real Life Horror Movie

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Can we all agree that the basic premise of Chernobyl Diaries is in really bad taste? I talk about it a bunch in this week's piece on this weekend's new movies at Celebrity Beehive, but the basic gist is that they made a horror movie where the real-life victims of a real-life tragedy at turned into silly horror movie monsters, from what I gather. (No I have not seen the movie.) As I say over at CB, this is basically the equivalent of having zombies rise from the ashes of the World Trade Center. 

Now... what I didn't say at CB but I will share here is, god I love bad taste! So I'll grant you that this movie's gross and offensive in theory, but I can't wait to watch the stupid teenagers on the run from dripping radioactive Russians all the same. And I would watch the shit out of a 9/11 zombie movie, too. So obviously do not look to me for guidance, my friends. I am well good and lost already. 

Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?

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And the Bad Guy in Thor 2...

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... will (probably) be played by the always welcome Mads Mikkelsen. Hopefully in his confrontation with Chris Hemsworth he brings along the extra special and exciting form of villainy he showcased against Daniel Craig in Casino Royale...

Quote of the Day

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"I want to see the bottom of your balls
on the top of the frame."

According to Robert Pattinson, that's what David Cronenberg said to him right before filming "a very bizarre scene that you won't see again in another movie" for Cosmopolis. 

Pattinson, by the way, told Cronenberg no, he would not show the bottom of his balls on the top of the frame. Pansy.

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And Here's a Picture of Zac Efron...

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... in his underpants in that movie

where Nicole Kidman pees on him.

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Good Morning, World

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Nothing starts out a day with a smile like the opening theme to The Muppet Babies. I have The Muppets on the brain especially hard today - yesterday there was that news that the director of the recent The Muppets movie is making a movie out of A Confederacy of Dunces; then I went and read thru Aaron's amazing, amazing list of his fifty favorite Muppets songs (my mind was a little blown about "The Rainbow Connection" not being his number one since it's my favorite song of all time, period, but the dude loves Rowlf - not that there's anything wrong with that); and lastly, today is Frank Oz's 68th birthday! Happy birthday, Frank!

Oh and I lied last evening, I will be posting just a bit today before heading off for the long weekend. You ain't rid of me just yet.

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Who Wore It Best?

Cueballed combat psychosis?

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poll by twiigs.com

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Happy Memorial Day, everyone! (Perverse celebration, I know, but that's how we roll.) I'm going to be offline for several days starting... oh right about now, and besides maybe a poke here or there I really won't be back until Thursday the 31st. Y'all have a good week slash holiday or whatever, and I'll see you when I see you!

And Coming In Third

We just posted pictures of Jake Gyllenhaal on the set of his new movie and pictures of Colin Farrell on the set of his new movie, so here's the number three in our very fine fourgy - Joseph Gordon-Levitt flaunting his new and previously commented upon big-boy muscles on the set of his directorial debut called Don Jon's Addiction (via):

You may recall this is the movie he's making about a sex addict of sorts opposite Scarlett Johansson who plays the old boobs that teach his new boobs to love. So... his character's supposed to be straight then? Huh. Coulda fooled me.

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And As Long As We're Sharing...

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... pictures of gentleman performers that we find attractive standing around on their movies sets, here are a couple of shots of Colin Farrell wearing a tank top on the set of Dead Man Down in Philadelphia earlier this week (via). We were hoping that we'd catch sight of his co-star and pants-dropper Dominic Cooper in the background of these shots at the very least, but he's nowhere to be seen. Dropping his drawers in private, no doubt. Selfish, selfish, selfish.

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Look Who Decided To Get A Job

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(pics via) I was just thinking this morning that I needed to see if there were any new pictures of Jake around sicne I haven't checked on him since I saw End of Watch the other week. But I figured it would just be more shots of him stomping around in his ubiquitous green pants looking dour and unexmployed. Well shame on me! He's been spotted can you even believe it working on his new movie! 

It's called An Enemy, I talked about it before right here. We've since read the book it's based on, The Double by Jose Saramago, which I liked a whole lot, even if I found Saramago's prose a little labored (sentences stretched for multiple pages at times). That shouldn't be a problem once it's turned into a film, though. It's being directed by Denis Villeneuve, the Quebecois director of the Oscar nominated Incendies (which I haven't seen).

And I can report, having read the book, that Jake's homeless beard actually has a purpose in the story! Although I'm surprised he didn't find a way to work the green pants in, too.
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Olivier Giroud Five Times

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(via) Well, hello. Olivier Giroud is a 25 year old French footballer.

Who apparently makes a habit out of kissing his teammates.

Everything about this is win.

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The Power Of "Whaaa?" Compels You

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On Tuesday when I bitched about the dreckitude that was The Devil Inside I mentioned the fact (and it is a fact) that nobody can make a good exorcism movie anymore. I did not expect this to be the world's response to my bitching:

Martha Marcy May Marlene Director Preps Exorcist for TV

What an excellent day for an exorcism! Nearly 40 years after The Exorcist became the first horror movie ever to be nominated for the Best Picture Oscar, Hollywood has again become possessed with William Peter Blatty’s best seller.

Sean Durkin, the writer-director of last year’s excellent but criminally underseen Elizabeth Olsen thriller Martha Marcy May Marlene, is adapting the fiendish classic into a ten-episode television series, this time backed by Morgan Creek and produced by Roy Lee, the executive producer of films like The Departed and The Ring.

Unlike the iconic 1973 film, Durkin’s version of The Exorcist follows the events leading up to a demonic possession and especially the after-effects of how a family copes with it...

The Exorcist TV series won't be formally shopped to networks for another two weeks, but executives are already calling seeking meetings to inquire about landing the Durkin update."

Good luck casting another Ellen Burstyn, dude! Or even a Linda Blair. Or even a Kitty Winn. (Kitty Winn really doesn't get enough love.)

In all seriousness, I loved Martha Marcy May Marlene - it was my fifth favorite movie of last year - and Durkin knows how to saturate seemingly banal moments with an absolute dread, so he's theoretically well suited to this sort of thing. Theoretically, I said. Theoretically.
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I'm Kind of Embarrassed...

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... about how much I'm looking forward to Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Killer. And I should be, right? It looks amazingly silly... but if you ask me the right kind of silly. (Plus Ben Walker and Dom Cooper, ya know.) Here's the latest red-band trailer (via)  and it's got me even more juiced for presidentially slanted vamp shenanigans:

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poll by twiigs.com

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You don't eff with a white top hat, yo!

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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Spider-Man 2 (2004)

Rosalie Octavius: Peter, tell us about yourself. 

Do you have a girlfriend?

Peter Parker: Uh, well... I don't really know.

Dr. Otto Octavius: Well, shouldn't you know? Who would know?

Rosalie Octavius: Leave him alone. Maybe it's a secret love.

Dr. Otto Octavius: Love should never be a secret.

If you keep something as complicated as love
stored up inside, it could make you sick.

The irony being that Otto and Rosalie were the model of open affectionate people, but it was to be Otto's ultimate undoing all the same. I've been thinking about Spider-Man 2 a lot lately with The Amazing Spider-Man nearly upon us and everybody calling The Avengers "the best superhero movie evah!" - as much great fun as I thought The Avengers was, it really isn't in the same league as Raimi's film. And as for the former, I'm worried that The Lizard won't be able to live up to Doc Ock. Alfred Molina - who turns 59 today, a happy one to him - gives one of the greatest superhero movie performances here, and really didn't get enough love if you ask me. Post-Ledger's Joker he probably would've gotten an Oscar nomination - hell he probably helped pave the way for super-villainy being taken seriously enough for Heath Ledger's win.

Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?

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Starf*cker

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I tweeted as much immediately following but White Collar was filming down the street from my apartment last evening and I stumbled upon Matthew Bomer & Co. (Willie Garson and whoever the brown-haired chick on that show is) literally half a block from my bed on my way home from work. It woulda been the easiest lowest-effort Bomer-snatching possible! And I failed. 

I don't think anybody could ever kidnap Matthew Bomer though - his prettiness was just too much to take in person, it literally made me disgusted. Literally. I couldn't even stand and watch them film for very long, because my every inadequacy was rising up inside my belly and just laughing cruel laughter at me. I don't know how people can stand being around him. Bastard person.

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Mad About the Beard

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I probably could've just edited my previous post where Charlize Theron spoke to MTV about Michael Fassbender's penis to include this bit where Charlize Theron talked to MTV about making Mad Max with Tom Hardy, but then I wouldn't have been able to dedicate as much space to admiring the above picture of Tom Hardy, something I would also like to do. I know most of y'all aren't fans of his lumberjack beard but man I just want to crawl inside of it and sleep for seven months. 

Anyway the other day we quoted Tom admitting he had no idea what was going on with Mad Max (which is what he's grown that beard for), but according to Charlize they start filming the movie next week. So, uh, maybe Tom needs to give George Miller a call. He can also call me, about that beard nest thing. The end.

Quote of the Day

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"Oh my god. I don't think it was available. It was shooting the sequel for 'Shame' so we couldn't get it for 'Prometheus.' ... It was on dailies from New York. It's a hitch penis. The penis attaches and works separately, it's a whole working entity."

--- Charlize Theron to MTV on whether we'll be seeing 

the full Fassbender in Prometheus. (pic via)

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